You have my attention, dear. I suggest you do not waste my time

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Finally. So you are familiar with the rules of engagement. Satisfied with your knowledge about your lover. OK. Good for you, I guess, though I don’t believe you should pat yourself on the back, or even giggle in victory. Yes, we are still on the topic of relationships.

At first glance, you and your lover are comfortable with each other, snuggling close, trading tender kisses, after that unavoidable, highly-anticipated argument. I am sure you are taking an extra step to make promises that such a useless argument would not occur. Things look fine until you realise that days later your partner seems to be avoiding your eyes, leaving the house without kissing you goodbye, resisting at the approach of intimacy, half-hearted smile, or even keeping ghastly quiet.

At this point, there is not “point” that you start another argument. Your partner quietly accepts your rampage. Odd, bizarre. Yes. As if that was not enough, you suddenly realise that your partner did not bother to respond to your gentle inquiries even when you say it in such a loving, understanding tone. It is as if your lover is saying, “You have my attention, dear. I suggest you do not waste my time.”

Daunting? Naturally so. Welcome to the world of relationships.


An avid blogger, twitterer and photojournalist, Zashnain Zainal suffers from an incurable addiction to social work, helping marginalised communities since 1989. Nowadays he travels from the plantations of Malaysia to the slums of Thailand. He can be found at and @bedlamfury

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