Men just want to have fun? Or just want to have sex?

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Age. That single factor sometimes determine whether you are into sex. Many of us have read ten or more articles about sex, sexuality, sexual health, and some nonsense-of-a-sexual-health-expert of how to psychoanalyze yourself and your sex partner.  How often do you read about sex or watch porn to learn more about the various positions for  intercourse? Yes we all know men are different than women, and I know a few people who would refuse to see and associate the different character traits of gender before, during and after sex. Or maybe not just a “few” but many.

Many men deny this but men have sex with the eventual, popular goal of orgasm. OK, maybe it is not accurate for me to say “many”; for the most part, when a man has sex his most significant aim is orgasm. He does whatever it takes before and during sex to achieve it. But then again, men are not like that, are we? Don’t you think men, or a handful of men (Hahaha), are into sex for the sheer experience of what sex is all about? We men, or I in this case, seek more than just orgasm in sex. I desire the intimacy, the closeness and the fragrance and the smile.

Many of you find that difficult to believe and understand, I am sure. Men are not monsters, though some may be fiendish sex partners who believes in a buffet of sex acts.

I do not believe that sex is just about and all about fucking. It’s never too late to learn that sex is not what you read or see, sex is an experience to be nurtured, and most importantly to be discussed in a casual candid way. So regardless of your age, take my advise, talk to your partner about sex. Making an informed decision about sex may just determine your level of maturity and expertise and understanding of your partner(s).

Grow up. Now.




An avid blogger, twitterer and photojournalist, Zashnain Zainal suffers from an incurable addiction to social work, helping marginalised communities since 1989. Nowadays he travels from the plantations of Malaysia to the slums of Thailand. He can be found at and @bedlamfury

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