A break-up: Sadness grips your friend, so what do you do?


The delicate matters of the heart. People seem to be an expert on relationships nowadays. Some are bold to provide an endless supply of recommendations, and many merely expect to show tough-love to retaliate; But nearly all have no clue to what they are saying or doing.

Yes, people usually give advice based on their own experiences:- an ugly encounter with an (unfaithful) ex-boyfriend, or based on a screaming match with a anxiety-enraged ex-girlfriend for some obscene and ungodly reason or another. Nevertheless you will find no comfort in the lectures by obnoxious friends who biasly try to offer “comfort” ~ merely by spitting forth words that would do more harm than good. But then again, you know that don’t you?

A missing element of comforting your friend who had just escaped from the clutches of a horrible argument is simply the art of listening. People do tend to forget that managing or coping with unhappiness and grief starts with listening. So the next time your friend calls you in the middle of the night, crying her heart out, shut your mouth and listen.


An avid blogger, twitterer and photojournalist, Zashnain Zainal suffers from an incurable addiction to social work, helping marginalised communities since 1989. Nowadays he travels from the plantations of Malaysia to the slums of Thailand. He can be found at zashnain.com and @bedlamfury

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