Relationship: A combo dose of mental masturbation & psychotic behaviour

Bizarre but true: Healthy relationships are based on a combo dose of mental masturbation and psychotic love-affair drama. We cannot do without this double pleasure-cum-pain. Our partners are mysterious figures, sometimes we are inflicted by the madness of lust and frustration, circumnavigating in a chaotic manner around the personalities.

Some would say a healthy relationship is based on unpredictability, the character jigsaw of random behaviours. Being unpredictable seems to excite lovers, naturally within certain limits of course; and the moment your partner becomes predictable then the relationship grows stale. I am good in almost anything, although I prefer the anarchy state of affair, sometimes uncaring (thankfully!) on the erratic mood swings. I think my expectations of a (my) lover is based on honesty, rather than the ultimate declaration of loyalty (‘loyalty’ sounds more like slavery than anything). My flaws are numerous, and my past experience with women have been… quite random and … well it is still a mystery to me… sometimes 🙂

When you are in a relationship, or merely into quickies or chance one-off-passionate flings, your brain scans emotional memories. When it detects a memory trail with a strong sensual emotion, your brain construct basic needs around your lover or sex-mate. Casual contact such touching, or arousing senses like sniffing, smiling, becomes an affectionate oddity, something that you do not mind repeating in public. I do enjoy these and more, my personal favourite is hugging. I love hugging my girlfriend at random moments, constantly Hahaha We both do.

At times, our relationship is taken on the next level of confrontation, with angry words. Heated debates are not as bad, as we always have tender moments after the mud-slinging fights or exchange of angry words. We both enjoy and appreciate our honesty.

Maturity is not based on a refined perception that a relationship must be controllable or manageable. If that was the case, I would sooner and rather date a blow-up doll than live in such predictable, stale union. Maturity is about appreciating your partner in the best, honest possible sense; despite the mood swings and misunderstandings. I am a complex animal, with a multi-dimensional mind and a passionate rage, and my girlfriend is the same. Not scary at all, trust me. My admiration and lust for her character traits snowballs into what I call “Love” ~ it is bizarre, I know, but then I am odd, and she accepts me for who I am.


An avid blogger, twitterer and photojournalist, Zashnain Zainal suffers from an incurable addiction to social work, helping marginalised communities since 1989. Nowadays he travels from the plantations of Malaysia to the slums of Thailand. He can be found at and @bedlamfury

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